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01.03.24 - ringing in the year of the wood dragon!

2023 year in review, 2024 hopes and tarot pull

hello, hello, hello old friend! it has been quite some time since we last spoke, and i have missed you dearly. life has been...good. it swells and subsides at a gentle rhythm, carrying me further towards the unending horizon of our present. that is to say, i've been consistently at work, and consistent with my routines, and running mostly on habits. most of the time, i just stay home and play video games, but i break up the time by spending time with my friends; my loved ones. if anyone needs a tool for dealing with anxiety, a friend recommended that i use mindfullness coach! that app is made by the us government and has no ads - it's a simple, yet effective app for guided meditations. all in all, i am a little bit bored now, but i've been sowing the seeds for my future!

i feel rather low energy these days, but still wanted to participate in new year's reflections. so here's a list of 2023's monthly highlights. [hello, this is future!rocky coming to say that past!rocky was nuts for thinking that he could make a monthly highlight thing with 0 preparation. i really sat there and rawdogged this part of my own journal and it ended up being this massive journey down memory lane so the bottom listicle is long as hell. maybe just skip to my tarot pull for the year?]

2023 Highlights

• in january, jewelry i ordered for cheap from aliexpress arrived! for rings that costed maybe a dollar or two, i ended up really loving these accessories, and i've learned things do not have to be pricy to be good. honestly, fashion jewelry is good and can be fixed to prevent tarnishing with a little clear nail polish. i also went to millet crepe in little tokyo for the first time with a friend. i was still working at a high school at this point.
• in february,i went to a barcade with friends! it was a lot of fun. i also played a lot of mario kart with my mom. oh, a lot happened this month honestly. i got dim sum with my teammates; i went to moca with my ex-gf, now friend; i was given a lovely crocheted beanie from a friend; and i went to heav3n party for the first time (it was just ok)! oddly hectic for such a short month
• in march, i got really into succession for the tomgreg yaois. sorry. LMFAO. there were also many work teambuilders that involved being touristy downtown, but it was very cute. there's this little plot of land on a street near my house, and i checked it out for the first time (good vibes!). i started and failed to complete a graphic design course, but it was provided for free through my local library. maybe i'll pick up courses again. i went to a high school theater production. i went to the aquarium. i made crepes.
• in april, I CELEBRATED HOMESTUCK DAY! requiem cafe in orange county hosts a number of collaborations with different media franchises, and i went to the homestuck one! i was reading vast error at this time, and also went thrifting a lot. journaling a lot at this point for therapy...hmm i visited my dad's grave with my mom and brother.

• in may, so much happened!!! summertime is always so exciting and vibrant and alive. i made hellofresh food kits and felt so good about my cooking. i went to a freakin SAM HUI concert with my family! i never thought i'd see this icon in my life! it's a shame i hadn't gotten my glasses at this point, because i spent most of the concert watching the screen, but that's okay. many loved ones graduated~! i went to subculture and hung out with friends (thank you friday again for the ride home). i made my first bunnet (bunny bonnet). i went to a haley kiyoko concert (thank you persi). i went to the park with my family, i made slime at work...just another beautifully full month.
• in june, i had a really awesome birthday month. i got boba and ate my hellofresh meals. my friend made this DELICIOUS flan at work. we went to karaoke! i ate hk style friend toast for the first time. work brought me to universal studios!! i went to this small show at the oracle tavern and got photos with a rising pop star i love, ryl0! i went for walks and i lived and i ate yakitori with family. i got eggy brunch meals and i went to the huntington gardens. I TOOK MY MOM TO DISNEYLAND! i'm so proud that i was able to do that for her! i went to the broad with my family. and i ate the most delicious sushi ever...i had a beach bonfire moment for my birthday! i made more bunnets! i went to a baby gaysian party! happy pride month!!!!
• in july, i saw the barbie movie (derogatory) cause i got high and scared...i had meaningful talks in hmart. i went to a cavetown, ricky montgomery, mxntoon, and grant perez concert. i learned that cavetown was a fellow transgender warrior for the first time when i saw him with a pride flag lmfao. i met super happy nooby at the mall! i went to san francisco for about a week with james! that honestly should have been a journal entry on its own. i went to 626 night market, which is pretty classic.
• in august,...i'm getting tired. went to a cute bar with my friends from work. went to a queer asian beach day. COMPLETED MY FIRST MURAL! took some nice rainy day photos. went to heav3n and got to see ayesha erotica LIVE!!! went for a run and felt so good about my self for once.
• in september, murals hell, lunar new year, and gay gaymers gayming convention on the west coast. yana, razz, if you two are reading this i love u guys!
• in october, catch up with a college roomie, divorce party, gyukaku and hadestown, and getting sent to the work dungeon...
• in november, my work friend did my makeup! and i bought the new rocks i'd been eyeing for forever. i celebrated my mom's 60th bday. i went to anime pasadena as solid snake. new ice cream place. hotpot w friends. visiting my dad on my own...slime kit hell. thanksgiving and eating lady m for the first time everrr. DOUBLE RAINBOW!
• in december, designing holiday cards, buying overpriced art books my beloved art books...going to the la science museum with a friend, making zines with another. lots of work but i got two weeks off! fuck yes sir! i spent it relaxing indoors :D

my god, i tuckered myself out before i even got to the part about new beginnings and all...suppose that's fitting and all. it serves as a warning against letting the past keep you in its grasp. anyways.

2024 Tarot Reading for the General Collective

in this reading, we seek to answer the questions: what is coming up in 2024? what are the challenges we must overcome? what can we look forward to? that sort of thing.

left to right: 9 of pentacles reversed, magician upright, 7 of wands upright, 2 of wands reversed, 6 of swords reversed

as many practitioners say, take what resonates and leave what doesn't. the story i see here ...right off the bat, i see a lot of transformative energy, but less clark kent and glasses and more...madoka girly transformations into witches. in 2024, you are guided to really consider yourself as a powerful being and come into yourself cause you may be faced with some very difficult choices to make. there may be causes that you have to take a stand for! scratch that, there will DEFINITELY be causes and reasons to take a stand this year. the magician and 7wands rev really jumped out of the deck, and so that's why we start there - these two cards pull a lot of the weight in this spread imo! these are the two cards that are defining the external world, the outward forces pushing in onto your personal...

the 9pent reversed tells me that we may have started off the year with a deficit. i bet you felt it too, all that about how the holidays didn't really feel like the holidays this year, how we started the year off on a monday, all this and that. even more specifically, we're at a time where a lot of structures that we put faith into as a society are failing...i bet some of yall never trusted in the structures that be to begin with, but...i'm talking about with this card the serious impact the last couple of years have had on our expectations of normalcy. we never really came back from the global pandemic, but governments and business and all these powerful groups like to pretend. you keep working the same hours, maybe more, but your paycheck means less and less every month with inflation. the 9pent, normally so abundant and luxurious, is being twisted into it's opposite. but the magician is showing up right there as if to ask you. 'are you really gonna take it lying down? or are you going to transform, rise to meet the occasion?' challenge yourself on what luxuries you used to dream of that might actually be an excess - whose blood paid for your comfort?

i mean, you don't need the cards to tell you that this year is an important one - you can just follow the news. cop city, the genocides and wars in palestine, sudan, tigray, the drc, and more if you take some time to research. election year, another cycle of the great american spectacle. rising cost of living, greater housing insecurity, climate change...i'm not the one to tell anyone what to do, but if it helps you: a good starting place is checking out e-sims for gaza alongside other efforts like calling your legislators (i use the 5 calls app) and any direct action youre capable of. quit vaping, i hear that helps with stopping a little of the flow of unethical coltan mining in the congo...lots of little actions that can add up...OH BOYCOTT TOO. keep boycotting. ok there's more i could say, but better people are doing that work too. consider voting third party if that's a choice you can make; i'm a californian and i know our politics are a little weird compared to the national standard... ok back to the cards.

on a personal level, im really seeing a message here that tells me, we all need to focus on our internal growth this year! this does not seem to be a romance year. we're not here to find the love of our lives this year - you need to learn to love yourself. hell, you WANT to learn to love yourself, because that is a flame that sustains you! you might be at this point where you have to pick between a rock and a hard place - do you stick with the rock or go down the hard path? that type of thing. nurture your flame, think of ways to let that spark grow. never rush into things without thinking about it because you're at the start of that journey and you don't want to set yourself up for failure! that's the 2wands rev, but this card in conjunction with 6swords rev tells me that we are really finding it hard! there's some serious internal blockages to the type of growth that needs to happen, and i totally get it. i feel you. shit is so stuck, you wanna be puyo puyo but you aint even tetris yet...there's a journey or a change or a transition, just a big life shift/conscious shift/ that you know would be good, but just cant do yet. for me, i know i have some serious questions about my future, my career, my living situation to answer for. i dunno what it is for you, but i do wanna remind you that its okay...be patient with yourself. take it slowly, but take it.

be courageous, be transgender, and believe in the ability for our times to improve.

If you've made it this far, I have a secret for you...I made a new website...I won't say what it is since it's a portfolio for work, but that's where I've been putting all my website time. Ok Bye.